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A Birth Announcement, Elaphe Carinata, and an Obituary.

Posted by The Shammernator at 1/20/2012 12:18:35 AM

So! I've had three things in mind to blog about as of recent... but rather than post three separate blogs and be "that guy" (girl) I'll just write one really looong blog instead!

First and foremost, as many of you knew I have been an expectant mother for quite some time now. I was overdue and going into my 42nd week, and due to be induced on the morning of January 3rd. Luckily, or unluckily, I still can't really decide, it didn't happen that way, and instead my water broke at 8:30 in the morning on January 1st. Of COURSE, the one night I was up til 4AM... that's the perfect time for it to happen!!! FYI if you are ever pregnant or have a partner who is and things are just not moving along, have lots of sex. It actually works. Everyone will tell you to, even the doctor! and you are like yea, PFF, whatever. Maybe it was a coincidence! Or maybe not. Maybe it helps if your husband is drunk off his ass. TMI? You decide. I don't really care either way. We're all adults here. ANYWAYS. So my water breaks and at first I can't really tell WTF is going on. At first I thought I was peeing myself. Then I realized I never pee myself, especially 6 times in a row within 10 minutes. Then I had my first hint of a contraction, and it all made sense. Finally! Im going to have my baby today!!! Right?! Wrong.

I called the doctors and told them what's going on and they were like OK come in! I get there and they're all like OMG ARE YOU EXCITED?! And I was like:

So I come in and they make me get naked and then start poking and prodding me (I hate being poked by nurses and doctors). Little did I know, I was going to be in that room for the next 28 hours. Things weren't progressing quickly enough... I wasn't really dilating, contractions weren't coming on strong enough, So finally, at midnight, the doctor came in and they started inducing me to speed things up. Before all was said and done, as if labor was not enough I ended up with a 101 fever due to infection setting in because of how slowly pudding was happening. At one point they seriously were considering a c-section. But luckily, things picked up the pace. Finally after an epidural (most terrifying thing I've ever done but trust me... it's sooooooo worth it. I'm all for SCIENCE!) and then a second shot of epidural after the first one started failing a little...and many hours, which for some reason passed faster than any hours I've ever experienced, little Brianna Nicole Hammer was born. And she was (still is) perfect. Weighing in at 6lbs, 10oz, she was a petite thing (lucky for me, LOL).

Now let me just say, that because of this experience I have a new appreciation for WATER. I think only a mother can say how terrible it is, to labor like that, for so long, and the only thing you can have is shaved ice. Sure, shaved ice is the most delicious thing in the world at that point. But it's NOT the same as drinking water. All I wanted was water...

Anyways. Back to my daughter. You know, for a newborn, she is pretty damned cute if i don't say so myself. And this is coming from me, who, in all honesty, I think a lot of newborns look like a ball of hamburger. Cmon, we've all faked our way through that awkward moment where someone shows you their kid and you are like:

But then you are like:

"Oh, he's so cute!"

But no... not MY baby. She's cute. She MIGHT be the cutest thing in the world. I promise. See for yourself.

iHerp, I present to you, the future aSnakeLovinBabe. Hide your sons because she's not dating until she's 25.

Our two best friends also just had a little boy, so here are the proud dads, holding the wrong babies. Eddie is the one on the right. Many of you have seen him, half asleep behind my table at hamburg.

Recovery has been.... interesting. What I mean by that is it's a pretty unique thing to experience, when you simultaneously drop 30lbs and grow a set of colossal tits, all in one week. Damned things looked downright fake! I can already hear it... "pics or it didn't happen... tits or GTFO". Hahaha... NO. Moving forward. NOT that it was a bad thing... but really, I didn't need any more boob-age on top of what I've already had. It was just plain annoying and painful.

So anyways, now that I have melted all of your ice cold hearts with photos of Brianna... and maybe weirded you out with all the detail I've gone into. I'm going to change the subject. To.... elaphe carinata. Why? Because I really effing like them, that's why! How many of you keep these beasts? They are, by far, one of the most awesome snakes there is. They will not hesitate to mess your pudding up. They are giant, aspen flinging, loud hissing, face biting, rough scaled, evil-eyed bastards and that is why I love them. No one can give you the stink eye like a 7 foot long pissed off King Rat snake. The good news? I'm up to 5 of them now, including, my most recent, an adult female who is about to be chilled down, along with her future boyfriend (rapist?) Phoenix. I'm so freaking excited about this, for a few reasons. After i bought phoenix I was beginning to doubt adult females of this species existed. I was sitting on 3 adult males and NO adult girls... just a female I've been growing from hatchling. And if anyone has seen phoenix, well, let's just say he's STUNNING. He's got more yellow on him than black, and all I have is a puddingty cell phone picture that does him no justice for now. If I was a snake, I would hit it, for sure. He already has his heart set on mating with the new female, but he's gonna have to wait until after brumation before he can get his 'penes wet.So now, here are said puddingty cell phone pictures, for puddings and giggles I've included a picture of each of my 5 chinese indigos (that's my pet name for them)

Venus: full of piss and vinegar... this is by far the meanest one. Maybe she's just in need of a good romp.

Phoenix. This snake is too sexy for his skin.

Isis, this little girl is getting so big. *tear*. In fact... want to see something cool? Go to her page on my iHerp and look at her photos, you can actually see her going through the color change as time progresses! It's pretty damned nifty.

Midas. He's so calm and gentle. He takes his food so nicely. Not like the others, they are puddings, and snatch it.

And of course, Ra. Ra is very special to me. He's the reason I'm into carinata. I remember the day I saw Ra... I WAS NOT LEAVING that show without him. I had never even heard of a king rat before that show. Ra is ornery, but he tolerates me well. He even tolerates getting his picture taken with me. He has even been in my cleavage. We have a special bond.


Moving on.... This is the part of the blog I've dreaded writing. The day before yesterday, was a very sad day for me. That day I had to deal with the loss of Fluffy, my beloved rescued savannah monitor. I only had fluffy for a little over a year, and I'm sure the severe neglect he endured before his time with me ultimately did him in.... but I am glad I was able to make at least the last year of his life wonderful. Thanks to Fluffy, I am aware that even reptiles can learn to forgive and are willing to give second chances. A customer at work essentially dumped Fluffy on me. He was caked in this nasty, black filth, had a horrible laceration on his foot that was severely infected and the entire leg was three times it's normal size. Every toe Fluffy had was broken and disfigured. Why? His previous owners never thought to cut his nails or offer something to wear them down. They grew into massive spirals and made it impossible for him to walk on his feet normally. The tip of his tail was... scrunched? and kinked....Poor fluffy was also being kept in a 55 gallon tank. He was close to 3 feet long... you do the math there. It took a lot of work to get Fluffy healthy, let alone to get him to trust me. Would you trust me if I grabbed you, shoved your head in a towel and dug into your wound? Probably not. But eventually he did and it was marvelous. I am glad to have shared the love of a big fat monitor, however short the time was. In all seriousness, I knew that Fluffy would not have a lot of time due to his experiences... but it still hurt to find him curled up in the corner of his cage in that forever sleep. I'll miss you Fluffy... who am I going to feed the leftovers to now?


So.... anyways... those were the main points I wanted to cover. You guys had better read this pudding. It took forever to write!!! I'll throw in a couple more random pictures before I conclude.

Here is my male red bellied water snake. He is eating a chick. He eats two chicks and a mouse per feeding. or a half a pound of bluegills. These two will literally eat anything. They are so cool...

Here is the female. Lately, he's been humping on her. I'm hoping for some babies this year.


Lastly. Here's Bandit. bandit was my first snake... first love... still is. and he hasn't changed. He tries to eat me every. single. time. I open his tub. This snake loves me so freaking much he can't even control himself. HAHA!



 Comments: View Oldest First  

Cynthia Chaplin,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 12:27:05 AM  

Brianna is ridiculously cute. Like, stunt-baby cute. You've really had a lot of craziness in your life lately! I'm really sorry to hear about Fluffy. It's awesome that he was able to pass in peace and comfort instead of fear and filth. He looks like he was such a great little dude, and lucky to have had you.

Posted At: 1/20/2012 12:45:45 AM  

you really had alot on your mind lol Adorable baby! :)

Sam Fredericks,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 1:30:06 AM  

Your baby is cute, and not alien looking hahaha and im sorry for you loss btw love the steelers stuff in background of pictures

Mystic Exotics ,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 1:46:12 AM  

First off, CONGRATS on your beautiful little baby girl! She is precious!

Cool looking snakes! I can see why you like them so much! Badass!

Sorry about your loss, Fluffy was very lucky to have found you. Those pics are priceless!

Love the penguin on the head of your killer Kingsnake, Bandit! :)

Pope of iHerp and Bread,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 6:25:14 AM  

Sorry bro, but all babies are ugly. But congrats! :)

I heart Phoenix! You know I do. He is damn sexy. You know, in a no homo/no interspecies erotica way.

Sorry to hear about your loss. Sav's are great. I miss mine.

Also, sorry to hear about your brother's second stupid tattoo, which is more stupid than the first one. The stupid first one can be seen in the picture with the sav.

Pope of iHerp and Bread,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 6:26:34 AM  

Also, Brianna Hammer. Brianna smash!

Brett Nation,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 7:49:12 AM  

This was a great blog and your new baby is simply adorable!

I remember my daughter the first time as my ex went through labor. The doctor said: "Look you can see the baby's head showing". I could only see some blue and yellow brillo pad-type looking thing (her hair) and was thinking to myself: "That's NOT my baby!" ROFL

Turns out that she had the ambilical cord wrapped around her neck and was loosing oxygen. After she came out it kinda reminded me of the squid baby from men in black and I got to cut the cord. A "swat team" of at least ten people raced into the room and all I could think was we were going to loose her. Finally, I left my partner's side and asked if I could see her. 

They cleared a path to the table she was lying on and I made my way through the crowd. Got real close to her and said "hello baby Hadley" and she opened her eyes (OMG so blue) and squeezed my finger because she knew already my voice from late night belly chats. Priceless!

The thing that really cracked me up was when the doctor's assistant held up the placenta like a big trophy fish and asked if we wanted to keep it? OMG LOLOL

After the took her away for some more tests the nurse finally came to the room and let me go see her in the nursery. I am standing there looking so proud, because she was so beautiful, big and healthy. Another new dad asked me which baby was mine and I responded "You see that big King Kong baby? She is all mine!"

Also, I used to have a Savannah Monitor named Peaches... until I took an arrow to the knee! :-)

Anywho, super mega congrats on your new baby again!

PS--I am sorry to hear about you cat. :-(

Aaron Florian,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 9:09:23 AM  

Fantastic blog!

Congrats on baby, she is pretty damned adorable.

Good luck with the "dating at 25" thing. :D

Emily ,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 10:38:37 AM  

Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!

I really would love to have a king rat someday.  I love everything about them (including their nasty temperament).  I am assuming, since you have a few pairs, that you will be breeding these at some point?  Keep me posted if you do!

Posted At: 1/20/2012 10:39:26 AM  

I loved reading this blog, aside from hearing about Fluffy.  I was actually just thinking about you and was going to ask if you'd popped her out yet, but thankfully you read my mind and answered that question for me.

Brianna is just adorable and I burst out laughing at the too pics to included as visuals, very well done!

I have seen Phoenix first hand and he is just amazing looking!  Can't wait to see the babies!

And let me just add that I'm very sorry to hear about your loss of your sav, I had one that didn't make it and I was so sad when he died, they are such awesome creatures!

Paul White,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 10:42:38 AM  

Congrats on the baby :)  She's adorable. Sandy and I have been trying (read: humping like bunnies) for about a year now and nothing. I'm getting nervous--she's been pretty late 2-3 times so I'm thinking something's not working right. 

Carinata are a hoot--I hope mine get that size!

Joe Farah,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 12:02:21 PM  

Yay i've been enthusiastically waiting for this blog!!!  I'm sorry to hear about fluffy and those snakes are incredible.

I'm so excited for you and your hubby and a HUGE congrats on that absolutely beautiful little girl. She really is gorgeous and I wish you guys all the best with her!  Like Aaron said, good luck with the whole waiting till she's 25 to date!  I'm way more realistic with my daughter... she'll start at 21 ;-)  I'm glad you got through the lengthy delivery ordeal and that you and baby are happy and healthy.  Cheers to you guys and enjoy your newest edition :-)

Emily Milton,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 2:38:19 PM  

Holy damn and three-quarters - where to start? 

That blocked was ass kicking and much needed.  Funny as hell!!!!

First off, congratulations on your new (human) baby!  Ok fine, she's adorable, I'll admit it - and this coming from someone that is frightened by babies.  Greatly.

I send you hugs for the loss of Fluffy - truly.  Losing a beloved reptile is never easy.

Your incredibly mean-tempered, bitchy and in need of a good romp snakes are to die for stunning!

Lisa ,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 3:21:53 PM  

She is BEAUTIFUL!  So sweet!

So sorry about Fluffy.  He was a cutie pie. 

Kylie (Gargoyle Queen Reptiles),
Posted At: 1/20/2012 5:23:27 PM  

Aww... Congrats!  I share similar thoughts when it comes to babies... but your's really is cute.  (I mean it!)  :)  Sorry about Fluffy.... That is sad, but you took very good care of him. 

John "Blue" Francis,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 6:00:46 PM  

Wow. What a range of emotion.. First I was like, yea, then ohhh, then  I felt a little uncomfortable, then I felt left out (I don't have a uterus) then I was all like , whoo hoo, then I was like, I cant see the pics cause I'm on a Gov computer.. Then  I was sad... then  Ifelt sick (not you, I ate a burrito from one of those trucks where you can't tell if the cook is a girl or a guy..)

shannon, you make me feel all schizo on the inside! Congrats, congrats and sorry for your loss...

Posted At: 1/20/2012 8:40:06 PM  

congrads on the baby and sorry for the loss of your savanna monitor

Ché Kinnard,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 9:00:45 PM  

You have a very adorable baby. Hold up...that child looks someone I that my baby? Am I that baby's daddy? 

Lauren ,
Posted At: 1/20/2012 10:36:04 PM  

I'm glad you think your baby is cute. :p  

Nice pics, and congrats on your addition! Condolences on your loss too. :(

One question-- are you using cell-sorb in the water snakes cage? What do you think about it?

Angie ,
Posted At: 1/21/2012 2:24:05 PM  

Awesome blog! Brianna is gorgeous and I highly approve of her name (I have a Brianna too and she was 6 lbs and 9 oz. when she was born).

Ever since I saw your pics under your "My Animals" page I have craved a chinese rat snake. Now you just made it worse. I just need to stop spending money on Boa C's first. I love mean snakes!

Sorry about your loss of Fluffy. I lost mine too .

Congrats though on your baby girl!

Posted At: 1/21/2012 2:42:16 PM  

Your daughter is so beautiful! Congrats on her being healthy and beautiful! I'm sorry for the loss of Fluffy :(

The Shammernator ,
Posted At: 1/21/2012 10:57:41 PM  

Thanks everyone for all the awesome comments!!! And thanks Aaron for the STICKY! Brianna is doing great... she's gaining lots of weight and soon I think it will be time for her to move onto frozen/thawed!

Posted At: 1/22/2012 11:26:15 AM  

Brianna is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I think it has something to do with the name :-) And she will probably have huge boobs too. I that is in genetics, along with the name.I have .never seen a more perfect baby. Even the dolls are not that beautiful

I now want a monitor. The first pic of him made me want to suggle. He looked amazing in all of his pics.

I am so sorry about him though. It is super tough loosing animals.

Posted At: 1/22/2012 3:19:57 PM  

I love this blog post!! :)

Sorry for your loss of Fluffy, but everything else is oh, so cool! Brianna is completely adorable and that's from someone who thinks babies are more than a little bit scary scales or fur, WTF?!? lol....she's a treasure, I'm glad you post so many pix of her, it'll be a blast to watch her grow!

Seth Rock,
Posted At: 1/22/2012 4:28:37 PM  

I keep king rats . None of mine are nasty at all. I got my first king rat from tom davis but hes not breeding them any more. Mine are het for Hypo and i belive your phoenix is a high yellow. where did you get him from . the other that has the strip on the back of yellow is cool . let me know if you get little ones . i might get some. feeding them as little ones can be a challenge , you can easly break there backs if your not carefull have fun with them. 

Posted At: 1/22/2012 7:33:05 PM  

You are the best rambler oner that i read. The kid is just too freakin cute. 


I'm sorry for the Sav. they are under appreciated.

The Shammernator ,
Posted At: 1/22/2012 7:46:40 PM  

???? break their backs?! what! I've had Isis since a hatchling and she didn't exactly seem fragile... 

I'm not a huge fan of the morphs of carinata as i feel the black and yellow being so sharp with their big red eyes is what makes them so awesome! As for Phoenix being a "high yellow", well that's pretty obvious, but i don't consider it a morph or anything like that... I'm not one to try and distinguish everything as a separate morph or characteristic... I'd rather just view him as a top notch specimen. The female is actually very nice as well. She has the same thing going on, a BIG splotch of yellow on every scale, just not quite as much as he does. I got him from a guy at hamburg... sorry, I don't know his name but I could find out. He doesn't have any more. Apparently he used to breed carinata, and he sold Phoenix to a friend of his as a hatchling. He then got him back as an adult in trade but did not want to keep him. Hence... I snatched him up!!!

Seth Rock,
Posted At: 1/22/2012 10:20:47 PM  

As hatchlings straight out of the egg king rats are very soft and fragle if you try to restrain them some will get kinks. i have had three clutchs of them and found that if you dont handle them for 5 weeks they tend not to do it. If you get eggs this year and hatch them you will see what i mean when they come out . If not than it may just be me then. 


Melanie Bernal ,
Posted At: 1/23/2012 1:19:11 PM  

WOW!!!! Big big huge major congrats to you and Eddie!! Brianna is beautiful!!!! Watch out...they grow oh so fast!!! 

Enjoyed the blog, Shannon. Thanks for are awesome!!! 

So sorry about Fluffy. Looked like one cool lizard. 

sky animal girl,
Posted At: 1/23/2012 1:39:27 PM  

CONGRATS!!! omg im soo happy for u! I hope brianna will love all the snakes as she gets older :)

Jennifer ,
Posted At: 1/23/2012 1:47:36 PM  

This. has. been. the. best. blog. From the baby (which i normally always make the "OH GOD" face to all babies but i didn't this time!! She is legit a super cutie!!), to the bittersweet ending to the savannah monitor, and the sexy snake photos, and all the way to the memes. :)) Thanks for sharing and glad to hear all is well!!!

Lillie ,
Posted At: 1/23/2012 10:01:10 PM  

Congrats on the baby!

The snakes all look beautiful.

Sorry for your loss of Fluffy... you gave him a good home and made his life happy.

Patrick Holmes,
Posted At: 2/26/2012 11:46:30 PM  

Congrats on a successful (human) pairing! She is adorable! Your king rats are all excpetional specimens. I am a ratsnake fanatic (despite what my collection page may lead you to believe), and carinata is a species I have considered for a long time. I almost took the jump in '09 when a locale wholsaler had well started CB juvies for $35. I was mainly focused on Morelia and rare treefrogs at the time, so I passed. I hope you have some luck with them. Breeding your favorite species is always very rewarding. Sorry to hear about Fluffy. He was a gorgeous savannah! It has already been said, but at least he got to experience a year of TLC before he passed. Great blog, thanks for sharing!      -p-

P.S. On the no dating/25 thing. I hope I don't ever have any female children. I'll catch a murder case by the time they are 15. ;)    

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